Jean Baur's Blog

I love this photo. Look how relaxed and happy this man is, the beautiful ocean waters spread out before him–whether it’s a sunset or sunrise–and he’s taking it easy, sitting on his paddle board, just taking it all in. How many moments in your day even come close to this? Whether you’re working full time, and/or have young children at home or are taking care of aging parents, you are probably running full speed ahead just to not fall behind. And the thought of uninterrupted time, the concept of floating, is like a dream from another universe.

What can we do? The first thing is to recognize that we’re often our own worst enemy.  If it were me on this paddle board, I’d be worrying about sharks or wondering if I’d gone too far out. Others might suddenly remember that they didn’t go grocery shopping, so there’s nothing for dinner. And many others would be thinking about that huge report that’s due in a few days and then would feel guilty for taking time off.

Secondly, we buy into the concept that we’re indispensable and limitless. In other words, we believe that we must be the ones to do everything, and that we can do everything no matter how full our plates are. And guess where that leads us? To exhaustion and burnout.

Third of all, we don’t recognize that we need to rest. To stop. To re-charge. So, okay, you might not make it out to such a beautiful place on a paddle board, but look for the things you can do. What’s in reach today? Can you get to work ten minutes early and take the time to organize your desk and get a cup of coffee before the madness starts? Or could you take a break mid-morning and get outside your office building for a ten-minute walk? Time Magazine (July 25, 2016)*just ran an article about the importance of being outside, and how trees, nature, not only make us feel better, but also lower our blood pressure and can provide “relief for health issues like heart disease, depression, cancer, anxiety and attention disorders.”

What helps me is remembering that everything is a choice. If I choose to stay late at work, or choose to take on a complicated project, then I need to be especially mindful to take care of myself. My energy has limits, my family gets cranky if I’m away too much, and the most helpful word in the English language is “no”.  Sorry I can’t do that right now.

Lastly, give yourself something to look forward to. Small or big, lunch with a friend or a trip you’ve always dreamed of, get it on your calendar. Make it happen.  And make sure your summer has time for doing nothing. Daydreaming, a little nap, are excellent ways to re-charge.

*The Healing Power of Nature”, Alexandra Sifferlin

I was at a meeting of my chapter of the National Speakers Association, watching a presentation by a new member who is board certified hypnotist. My mind wandered for a minute, remembering how my friends and I used to pretend to hypnotize each other when we were kids. It never worked! But somehow, we knew, even then, that the mind is powerful and full of untapped resources.

I’m listening to the speaker’s statistics, I’m impressed by the examples she shares, but then she comes to a slide that really hits me. It’s a photo of a shirt-less man, taken from the back, showing off his muscles. Her point was–do you muscle your way from one project to another, or do you tap into your subconscious and make decisions from a deeper, more intuitive place? I knew instantly that I was and am the muscle type. In fact I have a name for it–I call it my bulldozer. I get an idea and I charge ahead, no matter what the obstacles are, or how exhausted I become. In other words, I ignore myself.

As a speaker who works extensively to help groups stop burnout, I didn’t miss the irony of this revelation. Since I believe that small steps can lead to big changes, today, my therapy dog and I are having lunch with friends on a dock with incredible water views, and then we’re going to the rehab facility where we volunteer every Wednesday. We’re now into our fourth year there and love seeing the comfort and joy that our dogs bring to the residents.

My bulldozer is waiting for me, it likes the crash and burn excitement of charging ahead, but today, I’m not getting on it. I’m having an anti-burnout, slower day, and am thankful for this unexpected gift from a hypnotist.

Yes, this is me holding a beautiful, two-year old dolphin, Fin, on our recent trip to the Bahamas. It was a few hours after giving my talk on how to stop burnout for the Caribbean Insurance Conference, and I had to laugh, as holding a dolphin is a fantastic way to stop burnout!

When I thought about it, doing something you’ve never done before, adding a bit of adventure to life, is a great burnout buster. The conference got off to a bang with introductory remarks followed by wild dancing and music from the Saxons and a reception. My talk, “Stop Burnout:  Five Steps to Re-Energize Your Work for Your Best Year Ever” was the plenary session the next day and fit the conference theme:  “Industry Evolution:  Operating in the New Normal.”

We discussed many of the major stress points that make up the new normal, and then looked at strategies for ensuring that burnout doesn’t wear you down and compromise your work. What I’ve found in speaking to diverse industries is that often small adjustments make a big difference. For example, taking mini-breaks (and we all stood up and stretched during my talk), and giving yourself uninterrupted time for important tasks, leads to higher energy and a sense of satisfaction. It’s not easy to make yourself stop and remember the cost of burnout, but if you do, you’ll find you’re doing your best work, and will feel almost as wonderful as I did holding this beautiful dolphin.

P.S. A big thanks to all who worked so hard to make this conference a success.

My best friend, Nancy, is into Japanese flower arranging. It’s a kind of meditation. Look at one of her recent creations. Isn’t it amazing? What a great way to be present and enjoy color, design, texture. I imagine making these is just as wonderful as looking at them. I’m going to add these to my list of burnout busters!

I was interviewing an audience member for a talk I’m giving next month, and as I listened to this very successful professional tell me about his work and stress points, I noticed a certain pride when he told me, “Yes, Jean, I’m a workaholic.”

“But what do you do to take care of yourself?” I had asked.

He laughed and said that he loved his work and that he had a plan for the exact moment he was going to retire.

Now bells are going off in my head, as I’ve heard this story before. In fact it’s very common for people in high-stress jobs to defer living. Living is later. It’s after. It doesn’t fit now with the demands of the job.

So here’s where I differ–why I see being a workaholic as more of a danger than a point of pride. Living a balanced, creative and healthy life takes practice. It’s almost like developing a muscle–you’ve got to do it, work out the kinks, build your strength. What happens to many people who work as hard as this person does when they stop? They fall apart. They get sick or depressed or both. They feel unwanted. Unproductive. Put out to pasture. And they don’t know how to enjoy their time when all they’ve done for the past thirty years or more is to live according to the external structure of what their work requires.

So yes, work hard. Be promoted. Have pride in your work. All of that is good. But if you want your work is be its best, you’ve got to care for yourself and also demonstrate for your team, that work without pauses, without breaks, without filling the well, is not smart. And if you can do that, then when it’s time to retire or work part-time,  you’ll have cultivated other interests and will find the transition much easier.

Take a quick look at what one audience member has to say after Jean’s presentation on how to stop burnout at the PALA conference. It was a wonderful event, May 3, in Lancaster, PA.

Took a beautiful walk this morning and passed this crazy sign. It made me laugh! Sometimes we get just the message we need! Here’s a little something I wrote in my journal about spring:

There is so much

To be done

In this new season,

Yet I stare out the window

In wonder:

A weeping Cherry

And the first

Green leaves.

Here I am in the beautiful Crystal Ballroom of the Roanoke Hotel and Conference Center speaking to 170 members of VALA. The theme was “Set Your Goals in the Right Direction” and it was so smart to include how to take care of yourself as you care for others. As I told the group, “You’re really good at helping people at this critical time in their lives when they can no longer live alone. That muscle is a six-pack. It’s strong, but none of us can sustain this effort unless we also care for ourselves.”  We talked about common sources of stress: this is a 24/7 job, it’s highly regulated, there’s a lot of turnover especially with CNAs and other staff, and you’re increasingly dealing with residents with serious medical issues.

One woman told me after my talk, that she had turned her whole life around. She began taking care of her own health, lost a lot of weight, invested in additional education, and starts each day with gratitude. A man I spoke with told me that the government regulations–which according to him make little sense–drive him crazy, but that he’s learned how to accept them and make his facility the best he can.  We covered a wide range of burnout busters–from exercise, to prayer, to trying out a new craft. The key is to make time to use these tools. They won’t do you any good gathering dust in a drawer.

Work is called “work” for a reason–it takes effort and often isn’t easy. But work should also be fun. It’s wonderful to have a team that you’re proud of, to see the difference you’re making in people’s lives, and to invest in yourself so that each day is an adventure. I’d love to hear how you’re using your Burnout Busters!

Yes, it’s time to say goodbye to winter, but as we do, it’s got its beauty, too, doesn’t it? This is a shot from my front yard, looking out over the field and woods, coated in snow. I’m headed to Virginia next week to give a talk on burnout to the Virginia Assisted Living Association where I hope the spring flowers are already in bloom. Here in New England they’re still shivering, but there are buds that once we get a warm day, will burst open.

The change of seasons is always an exciting time–somehow new and surprising even though we’ve been through it many times before. When we recover from burnout, when we can appreciate what’s in front of us, our lives are much more interesting. We can see without judgment, embrace change and focus on what each day brings.

Okay, that’s good, but I’ve got to say, the snow melted. Hooray!